Author: Nienke van Bezooijen, Thought Leader Move in2 the Future
The other day I spoke with a client; I’ll call him Paul. He’d just turned fifty. He was content with his career, and still, something was brewing inside of him.
Master of many
Together we took a closer look at what is going on. He has many university degrees, Master of Many, he jokes. And he doesn’t care about titles. More and more, he cares about the team he leads, leaving a legacy, sharing his knowledge give meaning to his life and the lives of others.
The repetition of the world he does is feeling like a routine, no longer a passion. He is no longer one of the young ones in the team. The younger people keep a distance out of respect for his age. It sneaked in slowly, and no wit hits him.
Sometimes it seems to him he is the only one who feels the desire to bring change. He wants to speak up. Shake the team up, raise his voice, be bold and assertive.
His real question to me was: how do I sound, appropriate to who I am now? Should I be older, wiser or bolder and freeing myself of what I think it’s suitable in the here and now.
Well, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. The point is: how you show yourself to others needs to be authentic.
It needs to be authentic
I’ve lead Paul through the following process:
1. There is no need to change for the sake of change. It will help if you look at the path you took. What has changed over the years?
2. Is how you sound and communicate fitting the here and now?
3. If there is a gap between the past and the present style of communication: what would be appropriate to change, transform it into a fit with the current situation?
4. Start adapting your new style of communicating.
5. Share with your team and spouse what you are going to change and why.
6. Keep looking if you are conscious about the alignment in how you feel, your position and what YOU want to get across.
After four weeks, Paul came back to me. The brewing feeling had gone. The team actually appreciated his openness in how he wanted to change this communication. He didn’t feel the urge to be bolder. Even so often, he listened more than before, enjoying this new perspective.
Older cán be bolder, and it can be quieter or be more listening than speaking. And most of all: it needs to be the real YOU of the now. Only then you can be sustainable for your future!
Do you want to check if you are up to date in your communication? Or how you communicate authentically? Check the training area, and I can help you in the same way I worked with Paul.